Life, Decisions and Unconditional Love

This week is proving to be a challenging one. Monday, I had to practically squeeze everything (household chores and errands) in 4 hrs. When I arrived home from a trip to 3 different banks (one ours, one my MIL's and the last one to pay for the health card renewal of my MIL), clinic (finally, my MIL's new health care card was released after waiting for so long in the queue twice!) and a very quick trip to the groceries, I arrived home with just a few minutes to spare. I left the groceries and went directly to work. I was exhausted and tired. It didn't help that when I am physically and emotionally stressed, my migraine would strike and my stomach won't cooperate either (yeah! shame on you gastric juices!) 
Yesterday was like holding a rope while you're hanging on it from somewhere, it suddenly breaks and all you can do is look at it as it slowly breaks and you wait for your fall... then somebody catches your hand just in time before you finally fall all the way down an abyss... it was like a rollercoaster ride (nope. I have never rode one and I doubt I ever will...) it was something you are dreading to happen but you know it will come...

*this photo is taken by me and edited by me, quote is not mine but by author Richard Bach.
Yesterday, the doctors have finally asked my sister and her husband for their final decision. They will go on with the pregnancy. I understand my parents' fears. They would want to save their child. But my sister is also a mother who wants to give her child the chance to fight for life and survive. As a mother myself, I understand my sister's decision. I know her heart - selfless. I know her soul - a fighter. I know her desires - all she want is time enough to still be a wife and a mom... Is it too much to ask?
We almost lost her last 2006. She got pregnant with her first-born and last 2009, we almost lost her and her daughter. Both of them fought for ther lives and here they are... My niece needs special care 24/7 but she's here. She made it. Her mother (my sister) is her main carer 24 hours a day. So, when my sister had to be confined in the hospital due to a pulmonary hypertension, my niece really suffered - a lot! It's almost a month now since my sister (and her daughter) had to be confined in separate hospitals. My sister to be under control and observation after finally being out of the CCU while my niece for specialized care while my sister is being confined. 
On August 2, before the doctors talked to my sister and her husband, my niece's doctor also phoned them due to some swelling in my niece's stomach. She had some problem with her bowels movement and had to be on respiratory assistance for most of the day. We believe that my niece is suffering from stress. She misses her mom. But my sister is not yet allowed to go out of the hospital. When my brother-in-law went to the hospital where my niece is being confined, my sister called so her daughter can hear her voice. She wanted to tell her daughter that "Mama is here... Mama will never leave you... I'm just here... Shhh... don't cry..." When my niece heard her mom's voice, she opened her eyes as if looking for her mom... Amazingly, her stomach is better. She is now being fed with milk again and she made poo-poo twice yesterday! Poor baby... all she needs is her mom beside her...
I can tell my sister I know what you're going through but no... I don't know what she's going through... When she's alone, I don't know what's going on her mind. I know her fears. I know her hopes, her wishes, her prayers... I know what keeps her awake at night. But despite all that she's going through, there's no bitterness in her. She has already surrendered her marriage to God and even her daughter - May God's will be done. She is also trusting her pregnancy and surrendering everything to the Lord. But there is always a bit of worry - no, not for her but for her family. 

*photo taken by me and edited by me.
Yes, we have both talked about the dreaded word... She is a very strong person and has fully considered everything. I already saw it coming, I mean, her decision. Somebody told me I should persuade my sister to do otherwise. Who am I to tell her what is right or not? Who am I to tell her what she should do or should not? I know her. Her mind is set and she isn't somebody who likes to live with what ifs especially if it's about something very serious. 
Despite all my fears, I still trust and support my sister's decision. I know, there are some who won't agree with her decision but my sister doesn't necessarily need their agreement. It's her life, her pregnancy, her baby... her decision. I can only offer her my unconditional support. And I will support her no matter what... 

*Photo was taken by me with my point-and-shoot Nikon DigiCam and was edited by me. The verse is from the song I will be here (Steven Curtis Chapman)

To my dearest sister and brother-in-law, you both know that I will be here no matter what... And to my sister, I will do anything for you even if it will break my heart... I love you!



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